Remembrance

I remember a time
When you told me I was beautiful
Sent me sweet words to wake up to
Called me your angel and your muse.

I remember a time
When you said I was amazing
Shared intimate details of your life with me
Made me feel special...in so many ways.

I remember a time
When you slipped and called me baby
It only happened once, but once was enough
And I've craved hearing it from you since.

I remember a time
When you asked me to stay true
Told me that you needed me
I believed in you...and I promised that I would.

I still believe; that promise has been kept.

But those memories are just that...memories.
And it seems the more I try to hold onto them
The more they slip away, a tiny bit at a time
A little glimpse of heaven, gone black.

So please forgive me, my love.

Forgive me for loving you too much
For being so transparent with my affections
When you seem to not want me to be
A sad and weak display, if only in my own mind.

Forgive me for not being able to walk away
My foolish heart unsure of how to let you go
Not knowing if you will return in your own time
Or if those memories will be all I have left of you.

Forgive me for being selfish and hedonistic
Thinking only of myself at times instead of your pain
Which has been so much greater than my own
And from which you are still healing yourself.

Forgive me for wanting more...for holding onto a dream
That touched me so profoundly that I can't forget
When I know more may not be what you can give to me
Or want to give.  Today, tomorrow, and possibly ever.

Still...I remember a time...

©  Lady Jennith 2/15/12